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“It is through adversity that we find the true essence of
who we really are.”
The Coming Home came about as an idea based on the things I have studied and discovered since about the time I was 26 years old. I had always been searching for something in my life to "fill a void" of something I thought was missing. The only thing I knew was to look outside myself for answers. The answers, however, are in a place where most of us never look, inside.
Most of us are looking to "fix" what is "wrong" with our lives. However, there isn't anything wrong, it's just an illusion. The illusion comes from what we learned from our parents, friends, religious groups, schools, etc. Just like no two snowflakes are exactly the same, no two people are, so not everything works for everyone and not all information learned is the same. So that means that there can't be right or wrong because no one really knows what is right and what is wrong. What is wrong for one person's knowledge curve may not be the same for someone else.
Unless you came from "perfect parents", which technically no one has, we were all raised only knowing what our parents knew. For example, if your parents didn't know anything about algebra, then when you were in school, they couldn't help you with it. It is the same idea with life. I was personally raised with practically no "life knowledge or nurturing" from my parents. I was raised by my grandmother, who I know loved me, but was very strict, a father, who had no clue how to be one, based on how he was raised, and an absentee mother, who was pretty much gone from day one, who also never learned how to be a mother herself. Her role model was very strict as well. So, as a result, I had to find out how to do it myself, as an adult, and that is where courage comes into play. But it hasn't been as hard as I initially planned.
But in the
meantime, life has a tendency to repeat itself, in relationships, in jobs, in
your children and you can’t seem to figure out why your circumstances are
happening to you over and over again.
I have done and experienced many things in my life on my path and have finally come to realize that it's okay to follow many different directions until you come to the path that you are meant to be on. But the thing I also learned is that the path I was meant to be on is not necessarily a paved road laid out by others, but a path that I made, not necessarily the road less traveled, but my road.
A poetic tribute to Coming Home...
End of the Road
She walked and walked on her road, for ages; it was very familiar.
It began to be more difficult; there was a dread, signs of portent, "turn back!".
Her heart wanted something, so she kept going.
She expected, of course, that the road would just continue.
After all, it was all she knew.
But, there came a day when all of her choices toward her heart's desire added up, and she was at the end of her road.
It just ended. Stopped. She turned around.
There was no going back, the road had disappeared behind her.
If she continued going forward there was no path.
So she was kind of stuck.
She puzzled over this. Aimless wandering?
Her heart whispered go forward; there was nothing else to do, really.
Everything had disappeared behind her, and nothing mattered.
But it was kind of scary. "Like a boat without a rudder" she muttered.
"I could get lost" she feared. She was pissed - "I was a road!" she shouted, stamping her foot, heart in her throat.
It didn't help, but it was how she felt.
She was miserable; she'd come a long way, this wasn't what she expected.
She didn't know how to do this.
She only knew how to walk the road.
She burst in to tears. Was there to be no heart's desire, in the end?
It broke her heart. She sat down and sobbed a while.
Then she got up, sniffled, and stepped one foot off her road, on to the bare earth.
Twigs, dried leaf crackle, grass. She felt a breeze in her hair.
Amazingly, her heart was happy. "Hmm" she said.
She knew if she stepped off completely what was left of the road would also disappear.
But her heart was happy.
She took a deep breath, she started walking, and then she had to smile, her heart was singing.
The she heard it tell her to go that way, and before long she started finding things that she didn't know she had lost.
Joy was there. She went on, gathering herself, dancing and singing in the pathless place; heart's desire was here.
© Teresa Jane Heiler 2009
It has come to the point in my life that I am to teach and guide others to find their way onto their own road. To find who you really are and why you are here. It is basically very simple. You are here to find your own way and Come Home to Your Self. So, the idea of The Coming Home is now a reality.
"Out of
suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are
seared with scars."
E. H.
Chapin
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